On a pleasant tuesday afternoon . . .

Normally the narrations begin with the title as ‘A fine sunday morning’ or ‘A fine rainy day’ for a pleasant story. But things has made me to title this post with a fine tuesday afternoon. Yes, the job shifts are taking a toll on my personal life. This evening brought me nostalgia about my pleasant child hood and my future dreams.

On a fine tuesday afternoon, I am sitting in a chair outside my home trying to catch the magic of soft drizzling on me. It is raining pleasantly in a classy coimbatore weather. I see the ripples of water going round and round, bringing the nsotalgia I told. I am sitting with a pleasant novel in my hand, ‘Eleven Minutes’ by Paul Coelho, the book composed my dreams. The day has not been great for me, as it has started to question the choice I had made some months ago. I would not say it that was the easiest of the choices you make in your life. I had in my hand, the two options for career, land in a IT job and replace my dad in his business.

The arguments for both choices were pretty equal. For the first choice being, as I told it was my dream career, I had my passion for computers right from the time I had knowledge about computers on Grade 7, besides the IT industry was booming well, all my friends pursued the same path after college (well, this is a weak point), you lead a settled life (monthly salary, no risks I thought, tension less unlike the business gamble). The second choice has equal arguments too that I can replace my dad soon after taking over my dad’s concern ( a small scale spinning unit), give his rest for his looong tiresome days (he was 18 when he started working and still he works, it s 38 years my dear), stay close to the family as always (which is a dream for me now and by family I mean all the relatives too, it is a much bonded group we have in here, CBE people may know well I hope), and you have your business in hand, no need to bow to anything except for love.

I made my first choice as I had shown a few interest towards textile field right from my Grade12 (I chose EEE not Textile tech in PSG Tech famous for its Textile course), and the running of the mill has not shown much scope (it was bad when I made the choice, now from bad to worse). My father has accomplished his dream of being a entreuprener (what the heckof spelling here), and owning a spinning mill, and my parents in the first hand pushing me not to continue this business and opt for the IT job.

I made my choice.

Now things are getting tough here back home, though I do my best to give my best financial help for their well being and emotional support. Thats the max I can do now wothout taking a frastic change in my choice. The various daily works and the labour tensions (well, I really cant list that here, to make it simple – in IT terms the attrition rate here would be as good as 50% – guess the scenario). Well, dont please kid by giving the idea of keeping an assistant or a manager. The situation back here is all the assistants we keep give added tension by taking the labourers from our concern when they leave of the company, and to make it worse, they make a agreement as simple as this. The labourers give them a part of their salary every day for their inaction in work not be questioned. We cant watch them close as of 24*7. And my father is a gentle person, with a pleasant heart, not the kind of beating and things happening in other concerns around. I am proud of his character, but this won be suitable here, unfortunately. He is exhausted now I can see, but yet uncomplaining. He hides his feelings to himself.

  Well, my dad has did his part of showing me the "Road to be walked upon". When will I show the same to a person who is a candle for me giving his light. I am determined to light myself soon WELL before the candle fades away. But time is a cruel warden I hope, it doesn’t allow you to resue the prisoner for sentiments.  I hear someone saying, "Actions speak louder than words". Buddy, I have no choice but to wait for minimum of few (3-4) years before I get settled here., as I dont want to get moved for emotions and downgrade my long term goals.

I dream a end to all this soon, a relief for my dad with weekly temple trips for him, a wonderful day daily with my mom, a weekly trip to meet my cousins, a bi-monthly trip with family to some temples, a bi-yearly vacation somewhere. One with friends, another with family. Oru thennandhoppu in my thottam, a warm new, old style farm house. A new classic home.

This is not a great desire what I have. I hope the reality be more than imagination.

Love, CK.