CK ¿ uNpluGGeD ¿

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy’s mother also noticed us at the exact same time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad’s voice over the wind yell, “Bart, Hold on tightly.” So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.

I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, Tammy’s mother was not as an astute student of language as my father. When Tammy’s mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, “Tammy, don’t fall!” And Tammy did… fall.

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year- old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.

This is why people who try to stop smoking struggle with the ct of stopping smoking. They are running pictures all day of themselves smoking. Smokers are rarely taught to see themselves breathing fresh air and feeling great. The language itself becomes one barrier to success.

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can’t visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn’t get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, “Don’t drop it!” Naturally, I dropped the ball.

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper “self-talk.” They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn’t. I’ll never make it pro, but I’m now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, “Okay, try to drop the pencil.” Observe what they do.

Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor.You respond, “You weren’t paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil.

Now please do it again.” Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.

The point is made.

If you tell your brain you will “give it a try,” you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a “no try” rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won’t. Either they will be at the party or they won’t. I’m brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don’t know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words “I’ll try” come out of my mouth unless I’m teaching this concept in a seminar.

If you “try” and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can’t make a decision I will tell the truth.

“Sorry John. I’m not sure if I will be at your party or not. I’ve got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite.”

People respect honesty. So remove the word “try” from your vocabulary.

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.

These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.

So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, “I ****. I’m fat. Nobody will like me. I’ll try this diet. I’m not good enough. I’m so stupid. I’m broke, etc. etc.”

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.

Notice when you or other people use them.

Ø But

Ø Try

Ø If

Ø Might

Ø Would Have

Ø Should Have

Ø Could Have

Ø Can’t

Ø Don’t

But: negates any words that are stated before it. If: presupposes that you may not. Would have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen.

Should have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen (and implies guilt.)

Could have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it didhappen.

Try: Presupposes failure.

Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener. Can’t / Don’t: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.

Examples:

Toxic phrase: “Don’t drop the ball!”

Likely result: Drops the ball

Better language: “Catch the ball!”

Toxic phrase: “You shouldn’t watch so much television.”

Likely result: Watches more television.

Better language: “I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!”

Exercise: Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using.

Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.

——

CK.

Japanese save a lot. They do not spend much. Also Japan exports far more
than it imports. Has an annual trade surplus of over 100 billions. Yet
Japanese economy is considered weak, even collapsing.

Americans spend, save little. Also US imports more than it exports. Has
an annual trade deficit of over $800 billion. Yet, the American economy
is considered strong and trusted to get stronger.

But where from do Americans get money to spend?

They borrow from Japan , China and even India . Virtually others save
for the US to spend. Global savings are mostly invested in US, in
dollars.

India itself keeps its foreign currency assets of over $100 billions in
US securities. China has sunk over $600 billion in US securities. Japan
‘s stakes in US securities is in trillions.

Result:

The US has taken over $5 trillion from the world. So, as the world saves
for the US , Americans spend freely. Today, to keep the US consumption
going, that is for the US economy to work, other countries have to remit
$180 billion every quarter, which is $2 billion a day, to the US !

A Chinese economist asked a neat question. Who has invested more, US in
China , or China in US? The US has invested in China less than half of
what China has invested in US.

The same is the case with India . We have invested in US over $100
billion. But the US has invested less than $20 billion in India .

Why the world is after US?

The secret lies in the American spending, that they hardly save. In fact
they use their credit cards to spend their future income. That the US
spends is what makes it attractive to export to the US . So US imports
more than what it exports year after year.

The result:

The world is dependent on US consumption for its growth. By its
deepening culture of consumption, the US has habituated the world to
feed on US consumption. But as the US needs money to finance its
consumption, the world provides the money.

It’s like a shopkeeper providing the money to a customer so that the
customer keeps buying from the shop. If the customer will not buy, the
shop won’t have business, unless the shopkeeper funds him. The US is
like the lucky customer. And the world is like the helpless shopkeeper
financier.

Who is America ‘s biggest shopkeeper financier? Japan of course. Yet
it’s Japan which is regarded as weak. Modern economists complain that
Japanese do not spend, so they do not grow. To force the Japanese to
spend, the Japanese government exerted it self, reduced the savings
rates, even charged the savers. Even then the Japanese did not spend
(habits don’t change, even with taxes, do they?). Their traditional
postal savings alone is over $1.2 trillions, about three times the
Indian GDP. Thus, savings, far from being the strength of Japan , has
become its pain.

Hence, what is the lesson?

That is, a nation cannot grow unless the people spend, not save. Not
just spend, but borrow and spend. Dr. Jagdish Bhagwati, the famous
Indian-born economist in the US , told Manmohan Singh that Indians
wastefully save. Ask them to spend, on imported cars and, seriously,
even on cosmetics! This will put India on a growth curve. This is one of
the reason for MNC’s coming down to India , seeing the consumer
spending. “Saving is sin, and spending is virtue.”